Host Family Tips - Going Home

The initial Visa is for 1 year, with the opportunity to renew for another year; so in 1 maybe 2 years you will be saying goodbye.  I'll be the first to admit it is very sad, though everyone of my au pairs have come back to visit us after going home, and we stay connected through emails, Facebook, and phone calls, I still miss them.

Au pairs have left our home while my daughter was 3, 4, and 6 years old.  So we have developed certain rituals to help her adjust.  One of the things we do is get our au pair an album and put in pictures of her year with us; we also take a picture of the au pair and my daughter and put it on my daughter's bed.  She has a row of photos on her bed with 'big sisters' from overseas.

One thing we learned after the first year was not to let my daughter go to the airport to say goodbye.  At the age of 3 she associated the airport as some place you go and don't come back from; so when Mommy had to fly out for trips, she had meltdowns for almost a year.  so now we say goodbye to the girls at our home.  

We also help our daughter look ahead to the next au pair and next adventure, versus focusing on the loss.  Though as she has gotten older she understands that au pairs leave, we don't make it a huge deal, and often only really start discussing it about 1 to 2 weeks prior to the au pair's leaving.  Though by that point we've 'introduced' her to the next au pair; it wasn't until recently that she started putting together "one has to leave for the next to arrive."

Each child is individual so obviously do what is best for your child.  Don't let the au pairs eventual leaving be a hindrance to getting an au pair.  In my experience the good times obviously overrule the bad, and there isn't any childcare (besides parents) that I've discovered that lasts through an entire childhood.  Nannies can stay shorter than 1 year, or last longer; same with daycare providers, teachers, and coaches.  People make connections and then move away. This loss is part of life and unfortunately part of a child's development.  The best we can do as parents is support them through these experiences.